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The inner wastelands

by maud the moth

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    CD with 12 page booklet in a double sleeve mat cardboard packaging and printed inner sleeve, with artwork by Weronika Bachleda-Baca, Procesonegro Art Studio and Amaya López-Carromero.

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1.
Good morning blackbird, hush now don´t awake the sun. Wolves lay sleeping under sheds, biting not the hand that fed. Good morning blackbird, in cold, damp truth, in faking glory, in savage pulse. All silver stars (Remember how we used to shine?) are now feeble lights (Remember how we used to fight?) I ran back to the moment where wounds were not yet scars, and scars were not yet crowns, only fields and lungs and blood and mouths, and empty hopes and hands, and eyes and youth, and tainted truth uncoiling on my lap. Sleep is reigning over frozen lands, hush now blackbird, it´s my only chance to move unnoticed, to move unharmed. Hush now blackbird, it´s my only chance. Good morning blackbird, hush now don´t awake the sun. Wolves lay sleeping under sheds, biting not the hand that fed.
2.
Awakening 00:22
3.
Empires 05:09
Your secret domains in me are growing bars around the borderline. Yes my king I swear, yes my king I shall kneel down. Eyes are drowning, lips are burning. Silence is a cage without bailing out. The grass dries below my feet, the light shines on my hunger for your speech. The garden fell into neglect in need of answers I will never get. Eyes are drowning, lips are burning. I am conquered land, but never solid ground. There´s a stain on the ceiling, above the bed. With one thousand fingers that dip on my chest. There´s a shadow exhaled from the corner walls, where I only see light, which I only trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Everyone tells me, to let you die. Still I feed you, secretly, tiny crumbs pushed through the bars. Still I feel you , around my legs, fingers and mouths Still I feel you , around my neck, fingers and hearts, till one by one fall down defeated, till one by one cease to fight back. Till one by one fall down defeated, till one by one by one by one by one… Burn my, burn my inner empires.
4.
Crossbows 04:10
Tall tales will be the end of we. Tall heads on spikes, or full of blackbirds burst, and light the way a little further. Cold girls crouch down on the ventilation grills: Insect souls with real pressing needs. Wasteland bonfires. Steel-street-lights light up your pride as a damp cigarette. Swallow me down. Swallow me down. Fell asleep below her crown, in dark places like her heart. Crossed the tunnel, climbed the fence, the further we run the closer we get. With crossbow arms, and sour tongue… Reasons tie us to the lampposts. Open beaks project their long shadows. You learnt fast to live high, now learn to live low. Open beaks reclaim their lost halos. As we burnt our masks, and brushed our wings, we sank in mud up to the knee. Your hands my eyes, my years your bridge, and as I lived through you, you drowned in me.
5.
Take a rest from burning. Digging up in wounds we never thought were so deep. 
We never fought off but our own-bred demons. Lost in the endless burrows of our hollowed chests. 
You hurt like a phantom limb. 
You are the only broken key I miss. Take a rest from burning, I´m not your gasoline. 
Long gone but your arms stretch over the ocean hold and strangle more than I would like to admit. 
Take a rest from burning, let´s grow something on our ash-covered field.
6.
Eleven 03:16
Blow out the smoke inhale the words, like the story you were waiting for, in the air. I light a match; you´ve got the fuse, it´s the fire I’ve been waiting for all the way. Powder machine powder the wings. I don’t need them anymore. See myself turn, into the dust, into golden makeup for the ladies with the star above. Shadows glimmer, trails erased, finally. In cemetery sinks Grinding as one, our bodies Fading silently. Follow me down, the hole. For the light that burns, our souls..
7.
The swarm 00:35
8.
Ignis fatuus 04:05
Mouth full of mud, of weeds and growth. Dead animal bones, cracking under your soles. Run girl run, where unkept secrets glow. Behind the gates crawl, for the paths you follow are cruel and dark. Coughing hooded boys open their jaws. The cold digs in our chest, and makes us shine again below the waves, below the waves For the green fire, that turns our feet to swallows, floats around us and blossoms. Lotuses root our pain and choices. Freedom burns us, freedom leads us. Freedom sings in many voices, one of them is pure and effortless… At the other side All is glowing, overripe. All is silent, clear and bright. Mouth full of mud…
9.
Flaring night, we´re screaming under tunnels. There are crows, like dogs that chase me under. And the dream came finally true and suddenly all my insides were ready for your hunger… Hands, hands, hands, hands shaking, hands, hands, hands, digging out. Break loose dancing; raw hooves. Mud around your orange throat, aflame with fear. Gates and jails still near.
10.
All over 03:45
It’s all over, it´s all over… Over, over, over… So much wrong done, so much good will spoilt… Into the hole, we dare not look; there lays the weapon to burn all the truth. Held me so dear; a dead bird in your hands. Want, oh so badly, to end all disguise. To strip off the doubt, to strip all the fouls, strip all the tiny things that are better left untied. There are many shadows in the back of my yard. But from all the tallest is the one that you would cast. It has miles inside it, to be lost, scared, and now it has hills and fountains, mountains sharp, cities drowned. It grows and grows, wide and tall. Stretching out and digging up all the dead horses you had once fed. You leave a trail behind. Inside me, tiny widows flood, through tiny windows and doors, wash out your furniture and home, your smile an anchor without shore. My body sings while my will rows, but I’ll need none, now it´s all… It´s all over…
11.
Turpentine 04:08
And my feet lift the floor as my arms dissolve into your turpentine words and ashes, as my fingers are burning. 
All of my dreams devoured. 
All of the dreams I jammed into the darkness, the line of your jaws. 
And my feet lift the floor as my will dissolves, into your turpentine absence and silence, as your shadow turns to ghosts, blending into the whiteness, the holiness, of you both. 
I became a bedside stain you´ll erase, while you dive to another hole, while I was your seamstress in disguise, trying to patch your soul. 
And my morning nauseas; nibbling at your pride. 
And my midnight trail; sleepwalking over your life. 
I will weight in your heart like a stone. 
I will speak in your tongue only when I’m gone, only when I’m gone 
And my feet leave the floor as my world dissolves.

credits

released March 16, 2015

Voice, piano and percussion: Amaya López-Carromero
Violin: Helena Sköld
Cello: Sebastian Freij
Drums: Crispin Anderson
Double bass: Rob Coe

Author music&Lyrics: Amaya López-Carromero
Recorded, mixed and mastered at CrispinSound, Gothemburg 2014, by Crispin Anderson.
Additional recordings at Southampton by Marcos Simón, Dean Lawrence, Sam Montague and Amaya López-Carromero.

Cover photo: Weronika Bachleda-Baca
Produced by Amaya López-Carromero and Crispin Anderson.

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maud the moth Edinburgh, UK

𝔐𝔞𝔲𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔱𝔥 𝔦𝔰 𝔞𝔫 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔢𝔠𝔱
maudthemoth@gmail.com

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